So I have started this post about 7-8 times and every time I have deleted it. I just can't find the words to express myself. But I think I finally found them tonight.
So roughly 3 months ago. Covid-19 hit Canada and forced the country into a state of emergency. As a community service employee, my place of employment was closed, and I was redeployed into the adjacent long term care facility. Now I have made a few posts regarding this transition and how I was skeptical and how it was challenging because of the stigma and the resentment of my previous posting and how it was 'a lazy, cushy job'. I was even told by one of my new coworkers "I honestly didn't know what to expect and gave you a low standards bar because of you being from ADP."
Not going to lie, it hurt to hear that because of WHERE I worked, within the same regional employer, I was immediately judged regarding my work ethic. But what surprised me was the sentence that followed: "But boy, was I wrong, and I'm sorry"
This coworker gave me insight that I was never expecting. She was honest and told me her reservations regarding our redeployment to her LTC, to her department, her territory. But she quickly made up for it and gave me the credit that I deserve.
I will not be modest about it.. I AM THRIVING right now. I have reached my peak since this entire redeployment happened. I have conquered my fears and anxieties about being in a new fish in a BIG pond. I knew absolutely no one and had no experience in-home and was clearly already disliked (not personally, but stereotyped as lazy, incompetent etc.). I showed them differently though; I proved myself and I made friends (which, honestly, was a big issue for me and my anxiety during the redeployment).
I have to say. I am proud of myself. I have found MY FLOW! I have found where my skill level and my challenge meet and balance each other. Every day brings a new challenge and every day I learn something new about myself, about my residents and about my passion for Recreation Therapy.
Every. Single. Day. I feel my heart grow and make room for my residents. I have my 'Bella' who I tell every single day that I love her. Because I do. Because I have made a more in-depth connection with this lady than I ever thought possible with someone who maybe says....10 words to me a day. but 4 of those words are "I love you too". Every time she says that my heart skips a beat because I know that I am making a big enough impact in her life, that she cares enough to tell me that.
I just want to say, that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I judged this redeployment too harshly. Maybe I didn't. All in all, I am happy where I am right now. I am enjoying my job again, I am finding new confidence in my skills.
Thank you all for being so patient with me during this crazy time.
I have been trying some new endeavors lately that I cannot wait to share in my next post.
But for now, thank you all. I hope everyone is safe, healthy, and happy during this time.
Don't forget to wash your hands.
Cheers
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